線上閱讀討論-單親插班生about a boy 05


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1- He’s sort of become my friend.
2
He’s sort of become your friend?
3
She kept repeating the last thing I said.
4
Except she shouted it.
5
I go round to his place after school.
6
You go round to his place after school!
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– You see, he doesn’t really have a kid. – He doesn’t really have a kid?
8
Can I play computer games now?
9
Where does he live?
10
He’s not there at the moment. He’s out to dinner.
11
Christine had asked me to dinner for a pep talk.
12
You will end up childless and alone.
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Both fingers crossed, yeah.
14
You must have a lot of courage.
15
Why is that, Christine?
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Most people need something in their lives to keep them afloat…
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…and you have absolutely nothing.
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Doesn’t that scare you?
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Do you know what you want?
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Yes, I do. I’ll have the steak-
21
What the hell are these little after-school tea parties about?
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Hi. Sorry? What did you say?
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I was just wondering why a single, childless man would want to hang out…
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…with a 12-year-old boy every day?
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You didn’t tell your mum that you’ve been coming round?
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– I think I forgot. – Tell me what?
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What are you doing with my son?
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Wait a minute. What are you suggesting here?
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– I’m not suggesting anything. – I think you are.
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You were suggesting that I’ve been interfering with your son.
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I’m simply asking you why you entertain 12-year-olds in your flat.
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– My God! – Oh, my God!
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What do you have to say for yourself?
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Well?
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Don’t “well” me!
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Don’t “well” me about this!
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He comes over uninvited every night! Do you know why?
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He’s having the shit bullied out of him at school! And you haven’t got a clue.
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You send him out like a lamb to the slaughter!
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He’s been taken to pieces every day of the week, you daft, fucking hippie!
41
I think you’re being a bit melodramatic. Marcus is fine.
42
Strange. Will had it right, Mum didn’t. It should be the other way around.
43
You haven’t had much contact with kids.
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I used to be a bloody kid! I went to a bloody school.
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I know when kids can’t settle down and when kids are miserable!
46
Look at him, for Christ’s sake! Don’t accuse me of being melodramatic.
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– This coming from a woman who tried to- – Cowabunga!
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– What’s the matter with you? – Nothing.
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I just felt like a shout.
50
Jesus, what a family.
51
Will, you’re disturbing the other customers.
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It’s fine. I’m sorry. I’m done.
53
– Okay, so, you’re not… – What?
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No, I’m not! No, I’m not.
55
Listen, don’t worry about it.
56
I won’t open the door to Marcus again, okay?
57
I’ll be glad to be rid of the pair of you, frankly.
58
Go on. Bugger off.
59
Sorry.
60
So that’s it, is it?
61
You’re just out of his life, like that.
62
Excuse me?
63
Let’s say you’re right and I’m wrong.
64
Let’s say there’s this whole world…
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…that I don’t understand, and somehow, miraculously, you do.
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What are you going to do about it?
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I’m not going to do anything. He’s none of my business.
68
– You’re a selfish bastard. – That’s what I tell him.
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– He always puts himself first. – But I’m on my own.
70
It’s just me.
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I’m not putting myself first. There’s nobody else.
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Yes, there is!
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There’s Marcus. You’re involved now.
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He keeps coming around your bloody house.
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You’ve come into his life for a reason.
76
You can’t just shut him out.
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You can’t shut life out. “No man is an island. ”
78
– She’s right, you know. – Yeah, she is.
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No, she’s not! She’s wrong!
80
Some men are islands. I’m a bloody island!
81
I’m bloody Ibiza!
82
What are you talking about?
83
Do you want to come over for Christmas?
84
No, Marcus, I do not want to come over for bloody Christmas.
85
I do not want to spend Christmas with Miss Granola Suicide and her spawn.
86
I’d always thought what you did with Christmas…
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…was sort of a statement about where you stood in life.
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I was going to spend this Christmas the way I usually did.
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Watching videos and getting drunk and stoned.
90
Before you came, I was all alone.
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It is bad to be alone.
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Alone, bad.
93
Friend, good.
94
Friend, goodl
95
Now come here.
96
The good news was it wasn’t just me and Fiona and Marcus.
97
The bad news was, well…
98
So, you’re Marcus’ dad.
99
Yeah, I guess so. And this is my girlfriend, Lindsey.
100
And Lindsey’s mum.
101
Hi there.
102
– Thanks, Dad. – That’s okay.
103
I had to hand it to the kid.
104
He could be enthusiastic about some truly crap present.
105
Wow, a tambourine! Thanks, Mum.
106
Isn’t that cool, Will?
107
Yeah, that’ll come in handy.
108
I saw it and I thought, “This’ll be perfect. ”
109
Maybe you can perform at that school concert. Get a pop group together. Make some friends.
110
Maybe, Mum.
111
When you sing, it brings sunshine and happiness into my heart.
112
Thanks, Mum.
113
This one’s from me.
114
Brilliant! What is it?
115
It’s a CD, Marcus.
116
By Mystikal. They’re cool. You’ll like them.
117
And what kind of music is Mystikal?
118
It’s sort of world music.
119
“Shake Ya Ass. ”
120
Slash rap type thing.
121
Shake Ya Ass?
122
Is he Moroccan?
123
I’m afraid we haven’t got a CD player.
124
It’s great anyway.
125
I know you haven’t got a CD player, so, I got you one of them as well.
126
What a lucky boy.
127
Look, Mum.
128
– Open yours, Will. – All right. Thanks a lot.
129
– Marcus, is this a joke? – Yeah.
130
It’s not bad.
131
Hi. Sorry, I’m dead late!
132
– Have I missed anything? – No, come on in.
133
– Merry Christmas. – Merry Christmas!
134
Hey!
135
Long time no see.
136
Where’s Megan?
137
At her dad’s. Where’s Ned? At his mum’s for Christmas?
138
Yeah.
139
No. I should probably go, shouldn’t I?
140
You could go pose as Santa, try and shag some carol singers.
141
Are you a professional Santa?
142
How lovely!
143
Right. That’s it. I’m off.
144
Thank you very much. It was great.
145
Suzie has every right to express her anger.
146
Yes, and she’s expressed it.
147
Now I have a right to bugger off.
148
Thanks a lot. ‘Bye.
149
Wait!
150
He’s my friend. I invited him.
151
I should be able to tell him when to go home.
152
I haven’t told Will to go, Marcus.
153
Suzie’s angry and has every right to be, and she’s telling him so.
154
She’s right, Marcus.
155
Just leave it, okay?
156
All he did was make up a kid for a couple weeks.
157
God, that’s nothing. So what? Who cares?
158
Kids at school do worse than that every day!
159
The point is, Marcus, Will left school a long time ago.
160
He should’ve grown out of making people up by now.
161
– That’s for sure. – It’s not fair to gang up on him.
162
He’s been better behaved since then.
163
He bought me trainers, he lets me go round to his house and he knows what kids need.
164
What? Expensive footwear and obscene music?
165
If there’s something you really need then we can talk about it.
166
No, we can’t. It’s not a discussion, it’s an argument, and you always win.
167
– Why not just tell me what to do? – I want you to think for yourself!
168
I’m thinking for myself! And I want Will to stay!
169
He’s not the only one who ever did anything wrong!
170
Remember how we met? Remember why? Because you-
171
Because you threw a loaf of bread at a duck’s head and killed it, basically.
172
Excuse me? What’s this about a duck?
173
Are we having duck? Delicious!
174
Of course we were not having duck.
175
Instead we had nut loaf with parsnip gravy.
176
As I sat there, I had a strange feeling.
177
I was enjoying myself.
178
I’d never really enjoyed Christmas before.
179
My mother used to make me sing Santa’s Super Sleigh…
180
…in front of my inebriated uncles and aunts…
181
…just to get at my dad, I think.
182
But Christmas at Marcus’, I’m ashamed to say it, gave me…
183
…a warm, fuzzy feeling.
184
I held that feeling responsible for the strange events that followed.
185
First of all, Marcus got a crush on a girl.
186
Hello. Piss off.
187
And then, even stranger, so did I.
188
It was all Marcus’ fault, really…
189
…because once you open your door to one person, anyone can come in.
190
On New Year’s Eve, I met Rachel.
191
She was interesting, smart and attractive.
192
And for about five minutes, I had her convinced that I was, too.
193
…things like political events.
194
Okay.
195
You in television?
196
Am I in television? No.
197
– Everyone else is in television. – Yeah.
198
I watch television.
199
Right, right. So you’re more in front of it than in it.
200
– In it, yeah. – Yes, I get it, yeah.
201
It was torture.
202
For five minutes I realized what life would be like if I were, in any way, interesting.
203
If I had anything to say for myself, if I did anything.
204
But I didn’t do anything.
205
And in about 30 seconds she’d know and she’d be gone like a shot.
206
So what do you do?
207
I’m sort of taking a bit of time off at the moment.
208
– Sounds good, yeah. – Yeah.
209
Time off from what?
210
To be absolutely honest, time off from time off, in fact.
211
The interesting thing about me is I don’t actually do anything.
212
– You don’t do anything? – Actually, no.
213
– Nothing. – Nope.
214
Wow.
215
That’s…
216
Now, Rachel, darling.
217
East Coast or West Coast rap?
218
I have absolutely no…
219
There. She was gone. There was no more to say.
220
All rap music sounds exactly the same to me.
221
Or was there?
222
I tell you what. I know a 12-year-old who’d kill you for saying that.
223
– Really? – Yes.
224
– So do I, come to that. – Yeah?
225
– Yeah. What’s yours called? – Mine?
226
He’s called Marcus.
227
Mine’s Ali. Alistair.
228
And there it was.
229
It wasn’t a lie. It was 100 percent her assumption.
230
Well, 50 percent, at the very least.
231
I was in fantasyland again. But this time it was different.
232
SPAT was for fun. This was serious. I acted in self-defense.
233
We arranged to get our lads together.
234
Which means we arranged for us to get together.
235
Single parents, alone together.
236
Happy New Year!
237
I was in deep trouble.
238
And there was only one person who could help me out.
239
“Shake ya ass, but watch ya self Shake ya ass, show me what you workin’ with
240
“Shake ya ass, watch ya self
241
– “Show me what you workin’ with” – What did you just say to me?

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